I Hate Trustafarians and Nitwits
October 14th, 2009 • Stupid People
If you haven’t earned what you have, if you’re yet another Hollywood clown whose daddy or rich uncle bought you in with his connections or cash, I have no fucking time for you.
You’d be surprised at how many freakshows this town produces that fall into this category. But really, it’s not fair to just pick on Los Angeles. Truth is, the nepotism express (I call its riders “trustafarians”) chugs through damn near every industry and locale in the world.
It’s just a little more brazen in tinseltown. And I live here, so I’m gonna bag on Hollywood. It’s what I know best.
Without further ado, here’s my latest example of such a non-person and the vacuous life they enjoy inflicting on the rest of us:
I was in Yoga class today (really, it’s incredibly good for you and you should try it before you bag it) and this woman- we’ll call her Samantha Poker, because it rhymes with her real name and I wish to shame her- was attempting to have a conversation with me. Here’s the transcript of this trainwreck:
SHE: “Buckley and I are so thrilled the market’s bouncing back. Our loft is so 1990s, we definitely need some real property.”
ME: “Yeah, I want to buy a place too. Renting sucks.”
SHE: “Oh, posh (insert vaguely inappropriate touching of me by her, here)! Rent? How boho! No, our loft was a prezzie from Daddy. We own, darling.”
ME: “Wow, nice present.”
SHE: “Well, you know, Aaron Sorkin’s a neighbor sometimes. It’s quite boheme, but I’m looking for something more white picket fence, in 90210. But maybe I’ll keep the loft, you know, as an investment property.”
ME: “Real estate can be a good investment.”
SHE: “Mmm, or maybe I’ll just keep it as a pied-a-terre, you know, for those times when I need some me-time away from Buckley. On that note, (insert more vaguely inappropriate touching of me by her here), how’d you like to check it out after class? I have some awesome water we import from Antarctica, we can rehydrate together.”
ME: “I don’t socialize with trustafarians and nitwits.”
SHE: Vacant gaze, then walks away.
And so it goes… hey, at least the class was good.