I Hate Trustafarians and Nitwits
October 14th, 2009 • Stupid People • No comments
If you haven’t earned what you have, if you’re yet another Hollywood clown whose daddy or rich uncle bought you in with his connections or cash, I have no fucking time for you.
You’d be surprised at how many freakshows this town produces that fall into this category. But really, it’s not fair to just pick on Los Angeles. Truth is, the nepotism express (I call its riders “trustafarians”) chugs through damn near every industry and locale in the world.
It’s just a little more brazen in tinseltown. And I live here, so I’m gonna bag on Hollywood. It’s what I know best.
Without further ado, here’s my latest example of such a non-person and the vacuous life they enjoy inflicting on the rest of us:
I was in Yoga class today (really, it’s incredibly good for you and you should try it before you bag it) and this woman- we’ll call her Samantha Poker, because it rhymes with her real name and I wish to shame her- was attempting to have a conversation with me. Here’s the transcript of this trainwreck:
SHE: “Buckley and I are so thrilled the market’s bouncing back. Our loft is so 1990s, we definitely need some real property.”
ME: “Yeah, I want to buy a place too. Renting sucks.”
SHE: “Oh, posh (insert vaguely inappropriate touching of me by her, here)! Rent? How boho! No, our loft was a prezzie from Daddy. We own, darling.”
ME: “Wow, nice present.”
SHE: “Well, you know, Aaron Sorkin’s a neighbor sometimes. It’s quite boheme, but I’m looking for something more white picket fence, in 90210. But maybe I’ll keep the loft, you know, as an investment property.”
ME: “Real estate can be a good investment.”
SHE: “Mmm, or maybe I’ll just keep it as a pied-a-terre, you know, for those times when I need some me-time away from Buckley. On that note, (insert more vaguely inappropriate touching of me by her here), how’d you like to check it out after class? I have some awesome water we import from Antarctica, we can rehydrate together.”
ME: “I don’t socialize with trustafarians and nitwits.”
SHE: Vacant gaze, then walks away.
And so it goes… hey, at least the class was good.
Prop 13: Old People Suck
September 9th, 2009 • California and Proposition 13 • 1 comment
Imagine a world where you own your home outright, and have a stable property tax 1000 percent less than the taxes your next door neighbor pays for their carbon-copy house next door.
Imagine a world where your equity in that home of yours allows you to buy apartment buildings, large boats, and a vacation home in the mountains. Meanwhile, your neighbor can barely keep his head above water to make the huge house and tax payments each month.
Sounds great, right? Talk about not just keeping up with the Joneses, but totally fucking obliterating them. Well, that’s California for you. Old people in California suck. They’re greedy bastards sitting on the wealth of this state and making it damn near impossible for good young people to move up.
I see your smug smiles, as you collect rent from my generation- a generation locked out of buying thanks to the greed of your generation. And it pisses me off. The only reason you shits aren’t getting tarred and feathered is because the average person in California doesn’t understand how screwed they are by you.
So wake up, people!
Do some research. Check out exactly who owns those nice homes up in the hills of Sherman Oaks and Studio City. See who really holds the paper on the houses in Bel Air.
I checked out Blockshopper Los Angeles, and guess what? On my street there is exactly one house that’s owned by an actual family who bought it in the past decade. Every other house is owned by a trust or an old geezer who’s been in it since the 1980s.
That’s right: the best neighborhoods in Los Angeles are not neighborhoods. They are investment properties!
Why’s this so bad? Well, besides the obvious reality that this kind of living situation doesn’t allow normal families to feel a part of their community, and to grow with the community, there’s some rather unexpected nasty fallout. You know what I’m talking about.
The schools.
If you have a neighborhood where only 1 in 10 homeowners are paying anything close to fair in property taxes, it means there isn’t enough money to support schools and other services.
California schools used to rock. They used to be among the best in the nation. Now, they’re near the bottom of the barrel.
Ditto with our university system. And pretty much every service provided by government. We, as a State, suck. Thanks to the greedy old baby boomers who really, really had to have that porsche and those vacation properties.
Old people in California suck. And as usual, it’ll be up to us Generation X types to work and fix things, if they can be fixed after your orgy of greed.
You old greedy fucks better hope I’m not in charge of your DNR order when you’re in the nursing home soon.